ABU DHABI // Experts are urging families and couples to agree on a reasonable dowry and focus on the future relationship of the marriage.
Last week, The National reported on a study issued by the Department of Family Guidance at Sharjah Sharia courts showing that among the problems faced by 2,557 families were demands for high dowries.
Sheikh Sediq Al Mansouri, an Islamic scholar, said dowries, the transfer of funds from the groom to the bride’s family, were a basic right in Islam.
“It is a symbol of commitment, it is an honouring gift from the man to show the woman he wants her,” he said.
However, demands for high dowries are creating issues in society, said Mr Al Mansouri.
“As long as there is agreement between the bride’s family and the groom’s. There are many procedures in a marriage nowadays including the wedding. Some people can afford it, but others see it as a problem,” he said.
The dowry did not matter, and what was more important is finding “comfort and love in each other”, and that in itself is a blessing, he said.
Quoting the Prophet Mohammed, he said: “The best of [dowries] is the simplest [or most affordable].”
Mr Al Mansouri said: “Allah will grant his blessing towards them, and will give them intimacy and love that every couple need,” he said. “If the dowry is low, the husband is happy, he starts the relationship at ease. He does not overwhelm himself [with finances].”
High dowries also resulted in a new rising phenomenon, “divorce before consummation”, the study revealed.
The dean of the College of Sociology at the University of Sharjah, Ahmed Al Omosh, said that these kinds of divorces deeply affected brides.
“She feels frustrated, her dream has ended. Not many men will consider remarrying her and will prefer an unwed one,” he said.
He also asked that families and newly married couples focus on the emotional aspect of a marriage.
“Awareness is needed, for the sake of happy marriages these wedding trends need to vanish. They are temporary and bring temporary happiness, and the couple begin their life in debt,” he said.
He said the dowries had distorted the idea of a marriage in the Arabian Gulf and Arab region.
“[Families] used to look for a conservative man and one that is compatible, nowadays people look for materialistic trends. Weddings have become a ‘propaganda’, an industry on their own, and girls are falling into their nets,” he said.
Spinsterhood, young men in debt, and marriage from foreigners are some of the after-effects of high dowries, Mr Al Omosh said.
aalkhoori@thenational.ae
