By far the most important event in the Kane household over the past few months was the Eurovision song contest, which took place last Saturday. For those of you who have been living on a remote, media-free Pacific island, or in Armenia, the result was a victory for Azerbaijan.
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Eurovision has not been my kind of thing in the past. Let's face it, the music is usually awful, the show risible and the result meaningless.
But my wife, Naza, is a Baku lass, born and bred in the Azerbaijan capital of what was then a "soviet socialist republic". And Eurovision is a big thing in Baku. I was in the city last year when Azerbaijan came third, and the street celebrations rivalled the British royal wedding, or a football World Cup victory, for enthusiasm.
Last Saturday, she invited round her friend Esmira to watch the final sing-off, and I grumpily sloped off mumbling "load of rubbish".
But it was impossible to concentrate on the FT Weekend edition with all the squeals and hoots, oohs and aaahs, coming from the TV room, and I gave in, just in time to catch the Azerbaijan couple, Ell and Nikki, performing Running Scared.
Being a diplomatic (henpecked?) sort, I said what a great song it was and how it was sure to win, thinking I would slip back to the FT's Simon Kuper any second. But I stayed. And sure enough, Azerbaijan romped home in first place. I still didn't think much of the song, a love power-ballad with uncatchable words and not much of a tune. But Nikki was pretty. Or was that Ell?
What kept me in the TV room was watching Naza and Esmira go through the full spectrum of emotion, from stunned disbelief when Azerbaijan took the lead early on, to pessimistic resignation when Sweden (big hitters in the Eurovision league) snatched it away from them briefly midway, to sheer, unbridled, tearful joy when Nikki and Ell clinched it.
It was like watching myself watching a football match involving my team, Tottenham Hotspur.
Nail-biting, edge-of-seat, tension-testing anxiety, followed by misery or exultation.
For a Tottenham fan, the past few weeks have had much more of the former than the latter, as we got knocked out of the Uefa Champions League and then struggled, unsuccessfully, to qualify for it again next season.
There is still a lifeline after Tottenham's totally unexpected victory over Liverpool last Sunday via the consolation prize of a Europa Cup place.
So what's this got to do with business? Bear with me. Big international affairs such as Eurovision, or the World Cup, or a meeting of the IMF, will always have unanticipated results, as Dominique Strauss-Kahn can confirm. And if you study the final table of the Eurovision results carefully, as I have, a significant macroeconomic trend begins to emerge: the decline of "old Europe" and the rise of a new power nexus within the continent.
Apart from Italy in second place (always the exception to prove the rule), the other "big" countries - the UK, Germany, France and Spain - put in a dismal showing. Germany was the best, in 10th position, the UK 11th. Spain and France were nowhere. That's telling us something.
The best performers were the relative minnows of the European economic scene, such as Sweden and Denmark (both top 10), while even basket cases such as Greece and Ireland were well up there. The conclusion: big economies make for bad singers.
Of course, the fact that Azerbaijan won speaks volumes about the continent's economic future, because many doubt that the country is in Europe at all. Immediately after the victory, the internet was ablaze with accusations it was Asian, Russian, even Middle Eastern.
Preposterous, as a brief look at the map will tell you. The continent of Europe is marked by the Ural mountains in Russia, right? Well, follow the line down through the Caspian and you'll see Azerbaijan is well to the west of that. QED.
And anyway, if Tottenham can be in Europe, so can Azerbaijan.
