Sometimes fashion can be a little silly with its ever so serious terminology. Take the trophy jacket, for example. The idea that one may win a prize by simply buying yet another item of clothing to add to an already over-saturated wardrobe is more than a little puzzling.
But as with all good plot lines there is a back story. And as half-witted as it sounds, a trophy jacket should be your first impression outfit from now until March.
When it comes to sharp tailoring, you have to be prepared to spend. By trying to cut corners you will simply totter perilously close to Eighties trash (which only ever works if it's reassuringly expensive).
Even if you feel like you are paddling away furiously at the periphery of fashion, relax for a minute and simply start saving - as one beautiful jacket will be your go-to for years.
If you're lucky enough to have an hourglass figure, rather than an apple or inverted triangle, the key is to accentuate your curves, not to drown yourself in fabric and pretend they don't exist.
Good tailoring will be your new best friend. Opt for single-breasted jackets that fasten with one or two buttons at the most and make sure they are cinched at your waist.
If, like most women, you have a pear-shaped figure (another dreadful description) with a heavy bottom and narrow shoulders, you must accept what you have been dealt. Your hips (not for want of trying, mind you) are not going anywhere soon, so try to work with them and all your bottom-heavy glory. Look to jackets that hit just above the hip as they will balance the overall shape. Jackets with well-structured shoulders and wide lapels are great for accentuating the shoulders. Draw all the attention upwards and away from your body's heaviest point with detailing - puffed sleeves and breast pockets will help trick the eye.
If you have a boyish frame - first lie back and bask in all your thin-as-a-pipe-cleaner glory, as for reasons way beyond me (and most men), you are the green-eyed envy of all the rest of us. A double-breasted trench coat with all its flaps, buttons and belts has the kind of excess detailing that is needed to create a fuller shape.
Thick and busy fabrics should be explored - leather or tweed will give you a greater visual presence (although avoid a head-to-toe take on this as you will look like you are off to shoot rabbits).
So while it is important to accept the shape you have been given, don't give up. Because believe it or not, fashion is here to help. Trust it - it's a wonderful liar.
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This week's highs and lows:
HELLO, KITTY BEAUTY Our favourite Japanese cat now has her own beauty brand. We hope it makes its way to the Sephora here quickly.
CLOGS Why are H&M launching a range of clog-inspired shoes with Swedish Hasbeens? Doesn't the name say it all?
TOD'S CAUSE The president of Tod's Group will fork out €25 million (Dh125.6 million) for the complete restoration of Rome's Colosseum.
LIPSTICK OVERLOAD Memo to all: this season's hottest lip shade (as seen at Jil Sander) is hot - just not on all of us.
BUCKET BAGS Diane von Furstenberg's bags are great for adding a bohemian feel to your spring wardrobe.
