Ngozi Fulani, who was asked where she “really came from” at a Buckingham Palace royal reception, said she has suffered “horrific abuse” on social media.
The founder of the charity Sistah Space expressed shock at her treatment by the late queen’s lady in waiting, Lady Susan Hussey.
Her family has been under “immense pressure”, she said, but had been “heartened” by messages of support since the incident.
“The last week has been an extremely difficult time for us all at Sistah Space," Ms Fulani said on Monday.
“My team, family and I have been put under immense pressure and received some horrific abuse via social media.
“Yet throughout this time I have been heartened by the huge amount of support we have received.
“I want to thank everyone for that, and it has shown me that love will always triumph over hate.”
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Lady Susan, the Prince of Wales’s 83-year-old godmother, resigned from the household and apologised after she repeatedly challenged Ms Fulani when she said she was British at Queen Consort Camilla’s reception highlighting violence against women and girls.
“Although I didn’t experience physical violence, what I feel I experienced was a form of abuse," Ms Fulani told ITV.
Asked if the palace had contacted her through her organisation, she said: “No. I don’t know where this has come from but I’m telling you categorically — we have not heard from the palace.
"I was stood next to two other women — black women — and she [Lady Susan] just made a beeline for me and she took my locks and moved it out of the way so that she could see my name badge.
“That’s a no-no. I wouldn’t put my hands in someone’s hair and culturally it’s not appropriate.”
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Ms Fulani said the comments came from racism, not Lady Susan’s age.
“I’ve heard so many suggestions it’s about her age and stuff like that, and I think that’s a kind of a disrespect about ageism,” she told BBC Radio 4.
“Are we saying that because of your age you can’t be racist or you can’t be inappropriate?
“If you invite people to an event, as I said, against domestic abuse, and there are people there from different demographics, I don’t see the relevance of whether I’m British or not British.
"You’re trying to make me unwelcome in my own space.”
She said in a ststement: “It has been an emotional whirlwind and we now wish to take the time to pause, reflect and learn from these events.”
