ABU DHABI // Young Emiratis say polygamy is a declining tradition in UAE society.
Heba Alhashmi, 26, from Abu Dhabi, said women are now more vocal in their objection to the tradition.
“From my observation it used to be more common and a normal practice in the past,” she said. “Not that it isn’t practised any more, but perhaps nobody made a fuss about it then as much as these days, as women in Emirati society in general are more vocal about their opposition to the practice.”
Ms Alhashmi, who recently completed her master’s degree, took part in research conducted by Zayed University student Mariam Al Zaabi. Her only experience of the practice was a grandfather who had two wives. She said women would always be more against the practice than men.
“I guess because it is religiously within their rights, all men like to entertain the idea of multiple wives, even if they wouldn’t act upon it,” she said. “Of course women would be against it because they wouldn’t want to share their husbands with other women.
“I’m personally not against polygamy even if, God forbid, it was at my expense, but only for a good reason and not simply for the desire of acquiring a second wife and gaining bragging rights among their peers.
“As it is permissible for men to marry up to four wives, most men I would imagine view it as one of their rights and if a man is so inclined, being economically capable of supporting more than one wife and therefore more than one family, they would be more likely to do it.”
Amal Al Ameri, 22, a graduate from Abu Dhabi, also took part in the research.
“I believe polygamy is becoming more of a tradition that more and more people look at with denial,” Ms Al Ameri said. “I believe polygamy rates are declining – not dying, but less popular.”
She was not surprised by Ms Al Zaabi’s findings.
“I believe that most of the men who said that polygamy is acceptable based their opinion on religion or family traditions that allows them to have multiple wives, whereas most women see the way polygamy causes a lot of problems to families and the emotional distress it brings with it,” she said.
But times have changed, Ms Al Ameri said.
“One of the reasons I believe people went for polygamy in the old days was because they wanted to have more kids, to support them financially.
“Now, living is more expensive and parents invest in their kids, which is why having a big family would be financially exhausting.”
Khalifa Al Ali, 23, an information security specialist from Abu Dhabi, also took part in the survey.
“I have not really experienced polygamy in my life, however, from what I see polygamy affects a family negatively,” Mr Al Ali said.
“I believe polygamy in the UAE has decreased a lot compared with the old days, due to the hassle of everyday life and the challenges that come with development. It has never been a tradition to have multiple wives.”
He said men still thought it was acceptable because Islam allowed it and some could afford it, while “some head for it if they face marriage problems with the first wife and some to avoid having forbidden unethical relationships”.
mswan@thenational.ae
