My Ramadan: How the holy month strengthens bonds of friendship

When members of a family new to Abu Dhabi felt homesick during the holy month they were struck by the kindness and the generosity of a neighbour, Thufail Muhammad writes.

Thufail Muhammad has been at the centre of a heart-warming tale of friendship during Ramadan. Satish Kumar / The National
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Ramadan is the month of kindness and generosity. You are expected to be at your best during the month of fasting to gain the full benefit of the ritual, as promised by Allah.

It is easier said than done. Your character is tested throughout the long hours of fasting. You are constantly called on to disprove the saying that a hungry man is an angry man.

Often it is noticed that Ramadan brings with it an overwhelming sense of piety and religiosity in society. Even those who do not observe the fast take great care not to offend the sentiments of the faithful.

So, the ritual strengthens the bonds of friendship and camaraderie often going beyond the realms of religious beliefs.

I have been lucky to be at the centre of one such heart-warming tale of friendship surrounding Ramadan.

My family moved to Abu Dhabi in the summer of 2014. The holy month that year was very hard for my wife because it was her first away from home. And the fact that I worked late hours made matters worse, as she hardly had any company for iftar. She started missing home, and the festivities associated with the month eluded her.

She shared her agony with her neighbour, a compatriot Hindu woman from Bihar who settled in Delhi before arriving in the UAE. By the time the next Ramadan arrived, the two had become close friends and the families had also grown closer.

“I will come for iftar from tomorrow so that you will not miss your family,” Kirti Thakur told my wife, Taskeen, on the eve of the first Ramadan that year. And as promised for the next four weeks, she became a permanent “host” at our iftar table.

“I couldn’t have let my friend continue to feel homesick,” Kirti told me when I asked about her gesture. “It was also my duty to reach out to my best friend when she needed it the most.”

A devout Hindu, Kirti follows every ritual with dedication. She fasts each Tuesday and observes the nine-day fast during Navratri every year. But she believes Ramadan is a bit more harsh than the Hindu fasting rituals.

“I really admire children as young as 5 and 6 fasting for 13 or 14 hours,” she says.

This is our fourth Ramadan in Abu Dhabi, and my wife has now completely forgotten the difficult first year. “I can’t thank Kirti enough,” she says.

The bond between our families has grown with each Ramadan. Kirti is a great cook and I can’t think of our iftar spread without her delicacies.

Kirti’s gesture has rubbed off on other members of the small Indian community who live in an apartment on Sultan bin Zayed the First Street.

“Many of my friends drop by for iftar at their convenience,” Taskeen says, introducing me to Neeta Vijay, from our hometown of Mangalore. She offers me the “uppittu” (South Indian breakfast dish) she brought with her for iftar.

“We’re very fortunate to have such a wonderful group of friends. They come from different parts of India and have very diverse culture and food habits,” Taskeen says.

“Maybe we are the only people getting to enjoy a wide array of Indian foods, from dokhla and paav-baaji to kachoris and saabu dana-kichdi,” she says, handing me a slice of Punjabi samosa as I head back to the office.

Thufail Muhammad is a production journalist at The National.

thufailm@thenational.ae