x Abu Dhabi, UAESunday 23 July 2017

Kate found on a jelly bean; what flavour, you ask

A British couple claim that they've spotted the likeness of Kate Middleton on a jelly bean. And other news you can lose.

In the latest manifestation of the royal-wedding fever that has the UK in its grip, a 25-year-old British accountant, Wesley Hosie, and his girlfriend say they have found the likeness of bride-to-be Kate Middleton on a jelly bean.

"As Jessica opened the jar, I saw her immediately," Mr Hosie told the media. "She was literally lying there staring back at me."

They refrained from eating the royal-in-waiting - not because they are monarchists but because they hope to grab themselves a slice of the profitable memorabilia cake by selling the jelly bean online.

Vigilance at the mall

A Boston man who popped out to the shops on his lunch break returned to his office only to see the mall he had just visited featuring live on TV news.

Police were evacuating customers from the mall in Burlington, Massachusetts, as helicopters hovered overhead and Swat teams prepared to storm the building following multiple reports that a man fitting his description had been seen with a rifle sticking out of his backpack.

Or, realised the man, glancing down at his backpack, an umbrella. Sheepishly, he called the police and they called off the operation.

"We are always telling people to be vigilant," the Burlington police chief, Michael Kent, said. "This is what we want."

No more creases for cricketer

The Australian cricketer and celebrity Shane Warne has taken to Twitter to deny rumours that the suspicious lack of creases in his 41-year-old face is down to Botox and facelifts - but in so doing the archetypal rough-edged Aussie bowler has shocked hardcore male fans by revealing his new-found metrosexuality.

"I am flattered that people think I look younger," he wrote.

"New Estée Lauder moisturisers for my skin have made a big difference."

However, cynics say Warne is merely trying to curry favour with his on-off partner Liz Hurley, the long-term face of Estée Lauder, after reports in the Australian media that in her absence Warne had bowled another maiden over.

Extreme household chores

When a major fire closed a section of the UK's M1 motorway for several days, one man took advantage of the empty motorway to catch up with a household chore.

Camera operators in a control room were surprised to see a man in a dressing gown stroll into the middle of the M1, where he proceeded to set up an ironing board and press a shirt.

The episode is believed to be an opportunistic example of the sport of extreme ironing, in the pursuit of which aficionados have pressed clothing in a variety of dangerous locations, including up mountains and underwater.

What's 'to strike' in French?

French workers at a factory in the Loire Valley are staging daily strikes because their recently appointed English boss has not learnt the language.

"We say 'hello' in French, but then communication stops," said a spokesman for the CGT Union, which is trying to negotiate salary increases and has not been on strike for two decades.

"I don't think it's up to us to make the effort to speak English. We're French workers based in France."

jgornall@thenational.ae