‘I would no longer let anorexia rule my life’

Roudha Al Gergawi, 18, tells of how she suffered anorexia in silence for years.

Powered by automated translation

“About a year ago, I shared my darkest secret with the world: I was struggling with anorexia.

Being anorexic is having a lack of appetite, depression and a distorted self-image.

This kind of eating disorder comes with many side effects, such as severe weight loss, anxiety and a range of physical and psychological problems, and I seemed to have suffered from all of these.

I decided to share my secret, as I knew it was the first step I needed to a journey to recovery.

Many might think that anorexia is just an eating disorder that has no other consequences except for weight loss.

However, anorexia has more to it than just that. It took over my life, in the literal sense of things.

It changed me as a person, not just physically but also mentally.

I lost interest in the things I took pleasure in, as I was too absorbed in counting calories, researching about diets and overexercising.

Throughout this whole journey I visited many doctors, psychiatrists and therapists, and although I needed the help that they were offering, I did not want it.

As time passed, I became aware of why it was so difficult for me to recover. Although I was in the right circumstance to recover, something was missing. The most important thing needed for recovery was my self-willingness to do so, and after I realised that, I began to head in the right direction.

There’s no one exact reason that made me recover, but several reasons.

After a long struggle with the illness, I was sick of where it was taking me. At that time I had just graduated from high school and had lots of time to reflect on the past couple of years.

I decided that I would no longer let anorexia continue to take over my life.

When I entered university, I was in a place where I knew no one, but still felt comfortable, and that is when I realised that sometimes, change is not so bad.

I met new people and made new friends and was really enjoying my life. Among all of this change, I realised that I was unconsciously healing myself.

I have worked very hard over the past year to reach my goal of being able to enjoy life, and although at times I felt like giving up, I did not and I am glad that I didn’t.

The process of recovery is truly beautiful and rewarding.

I began to try new and different types of food, go out more and socialise, and in the middle of all this, I found my old self.

A year of non-stop hard work and determination paid off.

Today, I am happy to say that I have finally recovered from anorexia. This time, anorexia, I got my way.”

newsdesk@thenational.ae