x Abu Dhabi, UAEWednesday 26 July 2017

Sebastian Vettel could put his trophies to good use around the house

Pity poor Sebastian Vettel. Blessed with talent, brains, looks, wealth and charm beyond his wildest dreams. But he still has his problems.

The winning is great, but Sebastian Vettel says he is having a spot of trouble with where to keep all his trophies. Columnist Will Batchelor has a few suggestions.
The winning is great, but Sebastian Vettel says he is having a spot of trouble with where to keep all his trophies. Columnist Will Batchelor has a few suggestions.

Pity poor Sebastian Vettel. The young Formula One champion is blessed with talent, brains, looks, wealth and charm beyond the wildest dreams of most mortals. But he still has his problems.

Problems, for example, like where to store all those trophies he keeps winning.

The trophy cabinet in his home filled up rather quickly, so he currently has 36 pieces of silverware cluttering up his living room carpet.

Even his 2011 World Championship cup gets only a marginally better position.

"It is on the kitchen table," he said this week, in the countdown to a new F1 season starting in Australia. "But not with the cornflakes. You can't mix cornflakes with the World Championship trophy."

Not so fast, Seb. If we have learnt anything from golfer Ian Poulter's desecration of the Ryder Cup, it is that prestigious trophies and breakfast cereals CAN mix.

In fact, this could be the answer to Vettel's storage headache.

Instead of wasting space displaying his trophies behind glass, why not find practical uses which incorporate these showy trinkets into the fabric of the home?

Granted, the World Championship cup is probably too tall and narrow for a breakfast cereal - he'll need the Indian Grand Prix trophy for that - but it looks ideal for an ice cream sundae.

If he'd like some toast on the side, the Hungarian GP trophy would make an excellent rack. Then he can serve it on that large platter he picked up in Belgium.

The Singapore trophy, being a collection of vertical tubes, would make an excellent "desk tidy" and the Abu Dhabi pot looks perfect for storing umbrellas by the front door.

I know what you are thinking: surely it would be a security risk to leave such valuable treasures lying around. It might tempt burglars.

No matter. He just needs to keep that Korean trophy under his bed.

It looks lethal.