x Abu Dhabi, UAEFriday 28 July 2017

Orlando's Magic act made their star performers disappear

The Magic were knocked out of the play-offs in the first round by the Indiana Pacers. But the show goes on.

Magic made a mistake by removing Stan Van Gundy, feels the columnist.
Magic made a mistake by removing Stan Van Gundy, feels the columnist.

Who needs a circus when the NBA has the clowns in Orlando?

To recap, the Magic fired Stan Van Gundy, the best coach they ever had. Through the trap door. Whoops!

Alex Martins, the Magic chief executive, then shoved a pie in the face of Otis Smith, the general manager, who exited on a unicycle, stage left.

That left the Magic without a coach or GM just three weeks ahead of the NBA draft. Who cares? We're having fun now!

Van Gundy's brother, Jeff, a former coach and current NBA analyst, announced that Martins did not know whether a basketball was "blown up or stuffed". Hey, turn that frown upside down, Mr Grumpy Pants!

Then the Magic had a tiny car drive up, and out tumbled Shaquille O'Neal and Phil Jackson dressed as GM candidates.

Shaq, the erstwhile Big Aristotle, showed sufficient sagacity to deny being part of the show, and Jackson, a former Lakers and Bulls coach, refused to go along with the gag and wouldn't sit on the whoopee cushion. "Not interested" or something boring. A nose honk for you, Dr Zen Master!

Hey, wait a minute! Where is that scamp/superstar centre Dwight Howard? He went to Los Angeles two months ago for back surgery and hasn't been seen in Orlando since. Did he run off to join the circus? All he had to do was stay home!

The Magic were knocked out of the play-offs in the first round by the Indiana Pacers. But the show goes on.