Efforts to end bullying must go beyond schools

Every member of society needs to understand that bullying is unacceptable and preventable, and that everyone has a responsibility to stop it, writes Amanda Gillam

Sixty per cent of teenage boys in the UAE have been victims of bullying in schools.  iStock photo
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The word “bullying” evokes an emotional response from most of us, possibly because we have witnessed it in some way – as a bully, a victim or just as a bystander. Bullying is as prevalent in the UAE as it is in other parts of the world.

Last November, Abu Dhabi Education Council revealed that 60 per cent of teenage boys had been victims of bullying in schools. The percentage is higher than the United States (50 per cent) and China (21 per cent). The statistics are alarming, but are we doing enough to combat this phenomenon?

The Salama bint Hamdan Al Nahyan Foundation recently invited Dr Young-shin Kim from Yale University to give a lecture on this issue. Dr Kim spoke of the importance of early intervention and the social, emotional, physical and academic costs of bullying.

Bullying is a behaviour set that can emerge in early childhood. It can include expressions of many underlying feelings including fear, anxiety, anger and sadness. When adults understand these feelings driving the behaviour, they can begin to help children to find more adaptive ways of expressing these emotions.

One will inevitably encounter children in conflict in an early-childhood classroom. This is normal and healthy.

This is how preschool children learn to work with and alongside one another while relying on emergent communication skills and self-awareness to express themselves. As an early childhood educator, I observe conflict on any given day as children learn to negotiate resources and friendship groups.

However, patterns of bullying emerge when these frustrations turn into actions that are deliberately and repeatedly used to hurt or scare another child. I remember an incident that happened in my class many years ago. A five-year-old child named Kelly waited for all the children to be seated with their lunch and asked them to raise their hands if they liked chocolate. All of them raised their hands. She then asked them to raise their hands if they liked sweets, and again they raised their hands. “Put your hand up if you like Jenna”, said Kelly, and she did not raise her hand. The other children kept their hands lowered as they observed Kelly. Jenna was very upset by this and burst in to tears.

For those interacting with young children, it is important to be able to recognise the difference between normal preschool conflict and the onset of bullying. Bullying in young children often looks different from bullying in older children. Understanding the variety of ways that young children may become involved in bullying can help educators and parents to fight bullying.

Bullying becomes part of the normal behaviour when adults refrain from intervening, as in the case with Kelly and Jenna. Such moments offer golden opportunities to guide and direct children towards development of emotional and social skills to cope with conflict. While it is easy to empathise with a victim, we must refrain from bedevilling the child who demonstrates bullying tendencies.

Talking through a problem, unpacking the situation, validating feelings and agreeing on a solution with the child promotes healthy strategies for resolving conflict and building resilience.

Without intervention, bullies will think that their behaviour is acceptable, especially if they succeed in getting what they want. If adults become bystanders, bullies will feel encouraged, leave a lasting impact on their victims.

It takes a village to raise a child, the adage goes. As we continue to progress, it is imperative that we do not lose the value of this concept.

Creating an environment free of bullies requires everyone – teachers, parents, grandparents, nannies and children – to understand that bullying is unacceptable and preventable, and that everyone has a responsibility to stop it. Let us not take this responsibility lightly.

Amanda Gillam is an early childhood educator from New Zealand. She is a Shamsa bint Mohammed Al Nahyan Early Childhood Development Fellow with the Salama bint Hamdan Al Nahyan Foundation and Yale University