x Abu Dhabi, UAEMonday 24 July 2017

Tweet talk: Comedian drops the ball on Green

Goalkeeper Robert Green reacts after conceding a goal against the US.
Goalkeeper Robert Green reacts after conceding a goal against the US.

Steve Gerrard: 'The whole team is behind Rob Green'. In retrospect, that's a good place to stand." Russell Brand has a dig at the England goalkeeper after his fumble in the team's opening World Cup game against America. June 13. "All of this traveling with delays, weather changes, and early hours has gotten me sick ... I hate this feeling. I need a break from planes." News just in from Kim Kardashian. The very same Kim Kardashian just back from a trip to the Bahamas. June 13.

"Dulwich to Soho. Soho to Shoreditch. Shoreditch to Soho. Soho to Shoreditch. And it's not even lunchtime!!!"Poor Henry Holland. A career in fashion is just so, like, tiring. June 14. "It was a huge mistake to cast Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal in The A-Team." Peter Serafinowicz muddles his film knowledge. June 14. "America, act now to stop the flood of Piers Morgan about to hit your shores. Once it washes up, you won't get rid of it for years." Armando Iannucci responds to rumours that Piers Morgan is to take over from Larry King as America's chatshow t sar. June 15.

"Complaining about the vuvzelas is embarrassing. It's part of their game and we are their guests. Suck it up and stop whinging. Hooooooooonk!" Simon Pegg tells those complaining about the South African horns to pipe down. June 15. "We will continue to work hand in hand with state & local authorities on every front until we put this tragic ordeal in the Gulf behind us."President Obama tries to offer reassurance on the oil spill. June 15.