x Abu Dhabi, UAESaturday 20 January 2018

She's Posh and saves on the food bill

"Queen Elizabeth is thrilled that Victoria Beckham will be a guest at the Royal Wedding. They're saving money with one less mouth to feed." Not sure economy is foremost in her mind, Joan Rivers. April 26.

"Well, you can quote me as 'outraged', why does Joss Stone get an invite and not moi (me)? I sang at the Diana concert too!" Lily Allen isn't best pleased with the guest list. April 24.

"One really should have booked this week as leave." Funny, but sadly not the real Elizabeth Windsor (aka the Queen). April 25.

"Ugh. William and Kate just elope already." Looks like Zooey Deschanel won't be bringing out the royal bunting this weekend. April 25.

"Have anyone else noticed that Kate Middleton looks exactly like Martine McCutcheon would if she laid off the steak bakes?" That's mean, actually, Jimmy Carr. April 21.