x Abu Dhabi, UAESaturday 29 July 2017

From Facebook with love xxx

What would happen if James Bond had created a Facebook page that came under scrutiny in the media age?

Sir John Sawers, the future boss of MI6 - OK, maybe not.
Sir John Sawers, the future boss of MI6 - OK, maybe not.

Sir John Sawers, the future head of MI6, is in trouble after his wife released pictures of his family and details of his personal life on her Facebook page. Tim Martin imagines what might have happened if everyone's favourite secret agent had faced a similar problem. Bunnie Feelgood wrote on your Wall: Hey babes, how u doing? Gr8 holiday so far thanx!!! James in fine form - see pics! Kept nipping off tho, leaving little me to catch up on my book! And Facebook!

Bunnie Feelgood wrote on your Wall: Hey hey! More pics up! James on beach posing with harpoon gun my fave! Lovely place called Santa Maria del Mar. We're here for 2 wks if J's driving doesn't kill us first. Such a silly race on the way here with a couple of fellows in a white Ferrari. Men!?! Bunnie has posted 2 pictures in the album "Our 5* Hotel!!" Bunnie commented on her own Photo: You can see our room on here!"

Bunnie has posted 3 pictures in the album "James and Felix". Bunnie commented on her own Photo: Felix didn't seem to like having his picture taken!! Shy guys 4 ever! Bunnie Feelgood wrote on your Wall: Hi again sweets! Crazy party last night. Stuck with some boring diplomats while J plotted in the corner with his mate Felix. Talking about girls, I bet!!! Everyone kept making oh-so-witty comments about my name - rude or what?? Collared by totally dull old bloke with funny voice and weird eye called Mr Blowhard (I think!) who kept telling J how alike the two of them were. J not looking convinced. Must dash X.

Bunnie has spent the afternoon being filmed in slow motion coming out of the sea in her bikini!! Wild!! Bunnie Feelgood replied to your message: Hey girlfriend! Weirdest thing happened just now!?! Using James's iPhone to do Facebook Mobile and the car started its engine all by itself and drove round the car park!! J looked a bit uncomfortable but apparently it's normal with foreign cars. Offered to buy little me my own iPhone as well!!

Bunnie has posted 3 pictures in the album "Holidays". Bunnie commented on her own Photo: More pics of me and darling J in his dinner suit!! Dashing huh?! Caught him later putting his diver's costume on over the top but he says the fancy-dress party tonight will bore me stiff. Another evening with the Sex and the City box set for little me! Bunnie wrote on your Wall: Still here thanks babes! J back late and keeps hassling poor hotel staff for something called "coffee very black" plus scrambled eggs benedict etc etc. Hello?!? Heart attack?!?

Bunnie wonders why a wheatgrass smoothie should be for "foreigners and degenerates"?!? Bunnie wrote on your Wall: Alright sweetie! Get this - room service rang when I was in the shower but we hadn't ordered anything!? James said he'd nip out and have a word with the waiter and goodness me you've never heard such crashing and banging!!! A mistake, J said. Gotta love a man who knows his own mind!!

Bunnie wrote on your Wall: Hey hon! Lovely trip yesterday to tiny island w/great big satellite dish thingy on it!! See pics. J absent for hours, came back flushed & happy. I do love him but this is a bit weird, non? Also he keeps phoning his sister in London, I mean I don't mind close families but we're on hols! I asked to meet her when we're back but he said "I don't think you and Em will get on". Hmmm. Hugs XXX.

Bunnie wants to know what's so wrong with stirring someone's drink :-( Bunnie wrote on your Wall: Oh darling, left my new iPhone on the yacht and had to borrow James's again. Updating Facebook Mobile on it this am when nearby waiter fell to floor clutching his throat. I ask you, maybe they've all got swine flu!?! Bunnie has posted new pictures in the album "Oh James". Bunnie commented on her own Photo: J looking moody and adjusting cuffs. Always on phone these days complaining about leaks. Suppose plumbers must be harder to find here than in UK!!!

Bunnie wrote on your Wall: No more hols! Boo! Sleepless night thanx 2 terrible booms and bangings. J went out to look: someone letting off fireworks apparently! But he's taking little moi home in a helicopter! And we're going skiing next time! Lovely little chalet that you have to get to by cable car!! OK Bye!!!