Always expect the unexpected

Do not be blindsided by unexpected bad news at work. Be prepared and know what your next step is before it happens.

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What a year of surprises – no sooner were we over the UK’s Brexit referendum result than Donald Trump beat the odds to become America’s next president. Were you shocked by his win? And how did his unexpected victory leave you feeling? Really ecstatic or intensely upset, or somewhere in between?

We can all quickly get over such moments if we view them as good news – it might be in winning the lottery, being told your extensive malignant cells are not cancerous or being offered, out of the blue, a job promotion. You will be top of the world, walking around feeling exhilarated. A challenge arises when such unexpected events do not turn out as you expected or hoped. It is then that you are really tested – when learning of a decision, answer or result that leaves you feeling angry, upset or lost for words. I am sure you have experienced many such moments in your life – at home and work. Personally, in the past 12 months a few shocks come to mind:

• At the start of the summer one of my son’s school friends died during the middle of their GCSE exam period when my son was trying to keep calm and revise;

• A good friend’s company, of 15 years’ standing and employing a few hundred people, went bankrupt and closed down, leaving my friend distraught and depressed;

• A friend’s husband was diagnosed with late-stage cancer and died weeks later;

• A long-standing client was unexpectedly fired and has spent months fruitlessly hunting for a new job.

But how do you react when faced with unexpected bad news in your career? Do you show others your anger and upset by shouting at colleagues or firing someone irrationally? Perhaps you went into a depressed shell not talking with those closest to you? In all my years of coaching, leaders show the worst of themselves in such moments, when events turn out the opposite to what they expected. This can happen when they:

• Fail to win a big client contract they assumed was theirs;

• Lost out to a less experienced colleague in a job promotion;

• Learnt that their division has been unexpectedly sold to another company.

My advice to such a leader or anyone struggling to come to terms with a career surprise is the following:

• Let go of any guilt based around the question: "why did I not see this coming?"

Psychologists talk about behavioural biases and how we seek reinforcing information to support what we expect or hope to happen. Therefore it is not surprising we are sometimes blindsided by what actually transpires. Hopefully with experience you become less blindly optimistic.

• It is OK to feel grief and anger

Taking a note out of the “stages of grieving”, written about by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, it is normal and healthy to feel pain and deep loss when events do not go as you hoped. The secret is not to overreact by acting too headstrong, emotional or let the shock cause you to do something you later regret. Instead, keep calm allowing time for your emotions and feelings to settle.

• Talk through your feelings

Sometimes it is only in conversations with others that you are able to work through your shock or upset, put your feelings and worries into perspective and be reminded of the bigger picture.

• Learn to prepare for the unexpected

You might not want something to happen but that is no excuse for putting your head in the sand and ignoring the possibility of it actually occurring. Both the UK and US appeared totally unprepared for the results of their respective Brexit and presidential elections. Learn from this and do not repeat their mistake in your own day-to-day working life.

When faced with unexpected news, your everyday routine and plans of achieving certain goals and dreams might seem a million light years away. But to quote the adage – life goes on. With time, you can return to balance and continue on your path to one form of success or another. What’s more, through having faced and worked through all kinds of unexpected outcomes you will be stronger and wiser, and better equipped to face any future surprises.

Nigel Cumberland is a leadership coach and author based out of Dubai. His most recent book, 100 Things Successful People Do: Little Exercises for Successful Living, was published in October.

business@thenational.ae

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