x Abu Dhabi, UAETuesday 23 January 2018

Unsung avengers, unite!

We try out combinations of TV and film characters who we reckon could do an equally good job of saving the world as The Avengers.

Jennifer Aniston and her rom-com avatars could take on Hollywood heartthrobs and find love. Matt Sayles / AP Photo
Jennifer Aniston and her rom-com avatars could take on Hollywood heartthrobs and find love. Matt Sayles / AP Photo

The Avengers, in cinemas now, sees Iron Man, Thor, the Hulk, Captain America and, er, Hawkeye and Black Widow unite to fight the forces of evil. More power to them, but why must it always be superheroes who come together in times of crisis? We take a look at the cooperative opportunities for other characters from film and TV.

Media Specs and the City

The finely coiffed ladies of Sex and the City, Lipstick Jungle, Cashmere Mafia and every other “successful independent women doing it for themselves in NYC” series come together to take on their arch nemeses – Zooey Deschanel and her fellow hapless, vintage-clad girls from shows such as New Girl, Two Broke Girls and, er, Girls (nice titles, TV creatives). It’s chic versus geek, heels versus flats, polished blow dries versus messy buns, confident versus kooky. And it’s going to be vicious.

The Lone Rangers

Using a clever combination of computer-generated, green-screen wizardry and a whole lot of mirrors, every single one of Jennifer Aniston’s characters from her numerous rom-coms unite to form SWAP (Single Woman Against Plotlines). This fearless group of unlucky singletons must do battle with Paul Rudd, Jason Bateman and, of course, Gerard Butler, only to discover love in the most unlikely of places.

Bark of the Covenant

Having been recruited by Scooby-Doo after watching his standout performance in The Artist, the A-list canine Uggie joins Marley, Hooch, Beethoven, Lassie and The Littlest Hobo in an action-packed family-friendly thriller that sees Cruella de Vil’s grandson, Steve, attempt to carry out her dastardly ambitions, only this time with the Andrex puppies. Production might depend on the health/existence status of some of the older dogs.

Fat Chance

Zach Galifianakis’s character from The Hangover hooks up with Melissa McCarthy’s from Bridesmaids to create the ultimate socially awkward-meets-overweight-for-cheap-comedic-asides duo. Together they must save mankind by bringing down big-budget fat-gags overlords, Martin Big Momma’s House Lawrence and Eddie The Nutty Professor Murphy.

Dressing Gown and Out

The end of the world is upon us and, because of an unpredictable sequence of events hopefully explained in the intro, only Ridgemont High’s Jeff Spicoli, Troy Dyer from Reality Bites and The Dude can save us. Will they unite to take on the evil alien race threatening to wipe out mankind? Will they discover the secret source of power hidden beneath the Earth’s crust? Will they get off the sofa and actually do something?

Unstable Mates

Proving that it needn’t always be the good guys who hook up, Joe Pesci’s characters from Goodfellas and Casino get together with Trainspotting’s Begbie and that Menace II Society, O-Dog, for a quiet weekend getaway in the countryside. Things turn sour, however, when an innocent passer-by accidentally looks at them the wrong way or spills their drink or brushes past them and, well, you can probably guess the painful, wincingly violent rest.