x Abu Dhabi, UAETuesday 25 July 2017

Tweet Talk: Bieber has the lines but not the mileage

A selection of twitterings from the usual suspects including Justin Bieber's take on what women want.

Kanye West. Rich-Joseph Facun / The National
Kanye West. Rich-Joseph Facun / The National

"NO HAAAAANDS!!!" Would you look at that. Kanye West showing off, again. Did his parents teach him nothing? January 1.

"all girls should feel beautiful. a real man knows to treat a lady like a queen. ur happiness comes from theirs. step up fellas." Just out of interest, Justin Bieber, exactly how much is Clinton Cards paying you to come out with this schmaltz? January 2.

"My look today is big bird goes goth. Interpret that any way you like." Listen up, Peaches Geldof, we'd rather you didn't sully our childhood memories of Sesame Street's most loved character. January 2.

"i was woken up this morning by the massive sound of everyone dropping their new years resolutions" We see that David Spade is not so much a "glass half full" kind of guy as he is a "glass empty and shattered into smithereens" kind of one. January 3.

"Any youtube video that starts with someone on a pogo stick is just bound to end badly." We think so too, Zooey Deschanel, but isn't that what makes watching them so much fun? January 4.

"I forgot to bring a beard trimmer on vacation and my mustache is growing into my mouth. It is not unpleasant." As much as we love you, Conan O'Brien, we're not so sure we feel the same about the mental images that accompany this latest revelation. January 4.