x Abu Dhabi, UAESunday 21 January 2018

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen

A confusing mish-mash of stereotyped characters and lots of hi-tech fighting, Transformers 2 still has Megan Fox and that hair of hers.

This movie begins with an action sequence that is impossible to see (too dark), let alone understand, and it's all downhill from there. Even the cast of beautiful people can't save this one. OK, OK, the CGI sequences are impressive, if that's what you're going for. But even comic-book/toy-brand movies need a semblance of a plot. Within the first 20 minutes of Michael Bay's Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, unfortunate and predictable gender roles are established (the emotional mother, the dim-witted father, the sexy girlfriend who's, uh, not a Nobel Prize winner), weak attempts at humour have gone over like lead balloons and general confusion about the story has set in. In general I'm a huge fan of comic-book movies, but not this one. Disjointed scenes, weak dialogue and characters impossible to sympathise with make it difficult to stay interested. OK, so, where are we? Ah yes, the beginning. Scene one. Fight. Big fight. Cars turn into huge monsters; lots of noise; metal on metal. Explosions. So, it's over already? But who won the fight? Wait- now we're in college, moving into the dorm. Umm, where are we now? Metallic dog lands on earth from outer space. Why does everybody look so sweaty? This movie cost $200 million (Dh740m), how come no one brought a fan? Cool, now we're in Petra. Wait, the movie's over? But, what happened? Something exploded, then Megan Fox took off her helmet and swished her hair around. Or was it the other way around?