x Abu Dhabi, UAEMonday 24 July 2017

Redline

This has to be one of the worst acted movies of the year. It should come with red tape marked toxic.

<i>Redline</i> features fast cars and little else.
Redline features fast cars and little else.

Jean-Luc Godard famously quipped, "All you need to make a movie is a girl and a gun." But ever since Fast and Furious and its sequels became box-office smashes it seems that all you need to amuse pubescent boys is a movie with a girl (preferably in a short skirt) and a fast car. The film starts with a female voiceover and a description of a group of guys that could have come from the lips of Sex and the City's Carrie Bradshaw if it were not for the fact that the dulcet tones are harping on about big engines rather than fancy shoes. The voice belongs to Natasha (Nadia Bjorlin), a female mechanic who refuses to race because her father died at the wheel. She's also an aspiring singer and her best song starts with the almost immortal line, "I want to be your car tonight, so you can take me for a ride." Yes, for a moment, when an Elvis Presley impersonator is trying to take bets on a race at a party and the terrible dialogue descends into 1970s made-for-TV farce, Redline threatens to be so bad that it's good. Alas, no such luck as nothing can hide the fact that this has to be one of the worst acted movies of the year. Eddie Griffen who once amused in Undercover Brother plays a rap star and race organiser called Infamous and shows just why his career has become a car crash. This film should come with red tape marked toxic.