x Abu Dhabi, UAEFriday 28 July 2017

Mean Girls 2

Cliched, predictable and mind-numbing, this is one film for its stars to drop from their CVs as soon as possible.

Director: Melanie Mayron
Starring: Meaghan Martin, Maiara Walsh, Jennifer Stone

It's probably less to do with the film's quality and more to do with her somewhat unimpressive filmography that Mean Girls still appears proudly in brackets after Lindsay Lohan's name.

In any case, fellow Meanies Rachel McAdams and Amanda Seyfried are likely to have dumped this skeleton from their CVs some time ago. Seven years on from Lohan's seemingly career-defining moment and there's unfortunately no sign of the "troubled" star in the sequel.

Once again, the story is centred around a new girl at an educational establishment that may as well be called Every American High School Cliché (cheerleaders trying out moves in the carpark: check. Nerds huddled around a laptop: check.

Jocks throwing a football around and being generally rowdy: check). Mean Girls 2 sees Meaghan Martin (no, us neither) take Lindsay Lohan's grubby alliterative baton as Jo, the central character battling to survive alongside The Plastics, a vapid trio of tan-tastic spoiled princesses who rule the roost and have a habit of walking down the school corridor in slow motion. Not having read the rules, Jo makes friends with Abby (Jennifer Stone), another spoiled girl (she drives a Porsche to school, naturally), who also happens to be the scruffy, chubby and unpopular anti-Plastic. Can you guess what happens next?

Go on. Yes, that's right. Through a series of "hilarious consequences" (not actually hilarious), Jo and Abby are propelled into popularity, knocking The Plastics off their perch and leading to all manner of high-school high-jinx. Bleurgh. This is something even Lohan wouldn't want her name sullied by.