Do you know Jumeirah Jane? You might have bumped into her at the nail salon, brunching with friends, or walking through the VIP rope at this week’s hottest party.
Dubaians have long used the term to describe a certain breed of expat – you know the kind – that particular, newly rich brand of western housewife, invariably spotted sporting designer threads and an upturned nose.
Now the emirate's most clichéd cultural construct has a face, a family and a starring role in her own book – My Fantastic Life in Dubai: The Oh-so True Story of Jumeirah Jane (The Ultimate Expat).
The breezy, tongue-in-cheek comic opens with an exasperated Jane pulling her SUV up at The Biggest Mall, only to find the valet tragically full.
In subsequent pages we follow Jane’s leisurely life; days spent glamming up for the school run – made in the Ferrari, naturally – followed by afternoon manicures, facials and organic smoothies, and evenings out at glamorous gallery launches and private parties. Jane’s favourite hobby, however, remains shopping on “hubby’s” credit card – as long as her size hasn’t changed lately.
“I had to do a lot of shopping to research this,” says author Kyra Dupont Troubetzkoy. “The expenses were quite high.”
While that may be a joke, Troubetzkoy makes no bones about admitting her Jane is largely inspired by the same social circles she has inhabited since arriving in the emirate three years ago.
“It was so easy to find material,” adds the French-Swiss writer.
“Dubai is a fabulous playground, and when you live here you come across all these stereotypes everywhere. The ridiculousness in ourselves.
“It’s a souvenir of this life here, which is a bit vain, but somehow we’re all part of.”
The project is a clear reaction to Troubetzkoy's last project, a sober and serious portrait of Emirati women, titled Pearls of the Emirates: Who Are These Women Behind the Veil?
Published in French earlier this year, it took 60 interviews and 18 months to complete – by contrast, most of My Fantastic Life in Dubai was mapped out in just a single week.
Yet it’s the book’s illustrations that bring the material to life. French illustrator Céline Maslard introduces us to the huge cast of characters that inhabit Jane’s sheltered world (one where a trip to Deira requires combat gear).
As well as Jane’s three children (Polo, Ralph and Lauren), we meet trusted confidants including her yoga teacher, plastic surgeon, personal trainer, gardener and – of course – long-suffering maid Mary Linn.
Asked to describe Jane’s character, Troubetzkoy says she is “spoilt, superficial and touchy,”’ but she can’t hide her affection. “She’s a reflection of all of us,” adds the 44-year-old writer, who lives in Arabian Ranches. “I’m a little bit Jumeirah Jane.”
The book is self-published by the writer’s company More Than Books imprint, backed by Alliance Française Dubai.
Support also comes from a number of real-life Dubai venues, frequented conspicuously by Jane in the pages.
“Some sponsors backed away, afraid their customers could be offended by the association,” says Troubetzkoy.
“The funny thing about real Jumeirah Janes is they don’t know that they are Jumeirah Janes,” she says. “They’re not really conscious – so they wouldn’t be offended. A Jumeirah Jane is a little bit in denial.”
The term “Jumeira Jane” – with no “h” – was immortalised in a pocket-sized book of humorous verse, published by oil worker Paddy Briggs in 2001.
“I think Jane has evolved a little bit since then,” says Troubetzkoy.
“There were a lot of Janes before 2008, and then they dwindled a little bit. Now they’re making a comeback – Jane is back in fashion.”
At the end of 128-pages we encounter our bittersweet protagonist contemplating, after 10 years in Dubai (“we were supposed to leave after three …”), a life back in the UK – complete with rain and self-service petrol pumps.
“How are we ever going to fit in back home?” asks the final sentence. For all the gags, there’s something slightly sad about Jumeirah Jane’s fate.
Will the Ultimate Expat ever leave? “I’m not sure she’s exportable,” concludes the writer who brought her to life.
• My Fantastic Life in Dubai will hit shelves across the UAE from Wednesday, November 11. Follow Jane’s adventures on Instagram at #JJDXB or @jjdubai, and on Facebook at My Fantastic Life in Dubai
rgarratt@thenational.ae
