x Abu Dhabi, UAE Friday 21 July 2017

A few of the creative projects we may get to see in 2012

We make a few predictions about what might happen, and what we wish would happen, in next year's films, music, books and television.

The Jumeirah Beach Residence apartments in Dubai - possible site of a future TV series? Stephen Lock / The National
The Jumeirah Beach Residence apartments in Dubai - possible site of a future TV series? Stephen Lock / The National

The new year is upon us, a new year, no doubt, set to be filled with highs and lows in entertainment land. But when those "Best of 2012" lists swing around with crushing inevitability in 12 months, what will be top of the charts? Will it be all Batman and Hobbitses in the cinema world (probably), or will something unexpected - perhaps Gandhi in 3D - sweep the boards?

And what about music? Can anyone shut Adele up? Let's hope so.

With a scratch of our Nostradamus chins and with a hefty serving of scepticism, we've made a few predictions about what films, albums, books and TV shows will be setting the Middle East alight in 2012.

Please be aware, these are all completely fictitious and dragged from the dark recesses of our unhealthy imaginations. But if any producer is interested in taking one of these ideas further, please use the email address at the end.

February 11

Following on from Valentine's Day and New Year's Eve comes a more regional approach to the "plotline set in a day" filmmaking trend.

This romantic comedy follows 20 friends, acquaintances and strangers - led by an all-star cast headed by Omar Sharif - whose paths become intertwined across Cairo on the day Hosni Mubarak finally stepped down from office.

Will Hassan and Suzanne find each other in Tahrir Square in time for Omar Suleiman's historic televised announcement? Will junior health minister Ahmad profess his love for the attractive secretary before parliament is dissolved? Only time will tell.

Osama bin Laden: My Story

Although experts were quick to predict that he could be "bigger than Tupac" in terms of posthumous sales, the late troublemaker has so far failed to make a dent on the afterlife charts. But this could all change with the launch of his "tell-all" autobiography.

Charting his early years, through to his awkward, acne-scarred teens, right up to the first shambolic Al Qaeda rehearsals in his dad's garage, this memoir, packed with never-before-seen photos and side-splitting anecdotes, is set to be the literary smash hit of the summer.

Survivor: Dubai

When you've got a whole load of islands going spare, what better way to use them than for a popular reality television show?

Four tribes, each containing five contestants, are scattered across The World development off the Dubai coastline. After a series of mental and physical challenges, tribal mergers, twists and conspiracies, players are one-by-one voted off until a Sole Survivor remains. Islands could also be simultaneously used for other reality shows such as Love Island, I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here and a rather rudimentary version of Extreme Makeover.

The Colonel's Secret Recipe

Muammar Qaddafi may be a little on the stiff side, but the same can't be said for his elite army of Amazonian female bodyguards, who have been working tirelessly on their debut album under the guidance of pop mogul Simon Cowell.

Still clad in their infamous army fatigues, The Colonel's Secret Recipe are a 15-strong girl group that have been billed as "The Pussycat Dolls with heavy weapons training" by critics and could well herald a return of Girl Power to the pop charts and combat trousers to the fashion front lines.

Paint Drying in the Yemen

Featuring what has been billed as the slowest moving plotline in the history of cinema, this quiet coming-of-age drama follows the story of one Yemeni boy as he, ever-so-gradually, attempts to come to terms with the traditions of his forefathers in a world that is evolving, at a not exactly exhilarating pace, around him.

Will his strict parents ever allow him to leave the small fishing village to follow his dreams? Will the shy girl who lives with the old farmer ever return his stolen glances across the dusty path? Will anyone have the stamina to make it through to the end and find out?

Jumeirah Beach

Forget 90210, Dawson's Creek and Gossip Girl. Here comes a new drama that is set to blow the lid off the TV world and send it hurtling through the 40th floor window.

Based in the Murjan 9 tower in Dubai's exclusive Jumeirah Beach Residences, this 18-part HBO series follows the emotional ups and downs of a group of young international expatriates as they fall in and out of love, brunches and taxis.

Cultures collide, hearts are broken and there's a whole lot of arguing as to who gets the sole underground parking space.

aritman@thenational.ae