Attention parents! Are your kids screaming so loudly that they’ve attracted the attention of the entire shopping mall? Are you trapped on a plane for an eight-hour flight with an agitated toddler? Do you wish that you didn’t have to squeeze the weekly grocery shop into an already jam-packed multitasking schedule?
You are not alone. I am a parent who has faced all of these with my toddler and we’re not the only ones. Parenthood in the modern era seems more stressful than ever before. This is particularly the case for mothers who still do the lion’s share of parenting, and in many cases are working as well as managing the household and children.
To soothe the pains of modernity, modern technology has also provided a salve: the mobile phone. This small sleek item offers peace, organisation, serenity, memories and most importantly: sanity.
As a mother, I was initially wary of formally introducing it into my baby’s life. I’d been scared off by stories of children turning into zombies watching videos, of low-level addiction to games, and of course by horror stories of the damage mobile phones allegedly do to developing brains.
But slowly, innocuously and unnoticeable it has woven its way into my life as a mother. And I’m happy about it. During my daughter’s infancy, browsing the internet using my phone in one hand, while rocking my baby to sleep kept me connected to news and current affairs.
Trying to balance working from home and looking after a toddler means shopping time is scarce. It’s also stressful if trying to manage an exuberant child while selecting vegetables at the supermarket. So online grocery shopping using my phone can be done in 20 minutes while feeding my daughter her dinner.
Screaming child? No problem. YouTube videos provide the answer. I agree it’s not always ideal but sometimes a quick five minute film is for the greater good: for your sanity, and to avoid the dirty looks of passers-by.
The phone is constantly to hand, so no cute pose is missed by my camera, no endearing moment escapes being recorded. The phone is the chief memory store of the household, building an archive of natural moments from her life. She likes to view the photos and videos too because it helps her to make sense of what she has experienced. We spend happy minutes scrolling through the albums while she tries to remember the events, what happened and why, using the learning for her next encounters.
I use Whatsapp to stay in touch with friends. Twitter to share my thoughts with the world. Facebook to engage with my community. All managed through my mobile phone. Oh, and I make phone calls too. The phone is both babysitter and PA. It helps me organise my life, stay in touch and keep my toddler happy.
It seems I’m not alone. In a recent survey by AOL, mums with children under 5 were found to use their phones more than any other segment of the mobile phone user population. Interestingly it is also used to remove the isolation that mums often suffer especially in the earlier years.
I can remember life before mobile phones. But now I don’t know what I would do without my mobile. But it’s not all about organising, planning and child management. Sometimes I just take a minute to read something lighthearted on my phone, or share a humorous moment with a friend. The mobile’s most important role is in fact to help me keep my sanity. What did we mums do without them?
Shelina Zahra Janmohamed is the author of Love in a Headscarf and blogs at www.spirit21.co.uk
