You won't see her, but she's there - in the salons, spas and shops - and she's happy to share her secrets on the small but significant fixes. Regular readers know that Beauty Spy is on a mission to find her waist which got lost in action a few years ago. The search is hard. It involves sweat, toil, deprivation and humiliating exercises for what seems like very little gain.
Looking good needn't be a source of agony, however. Yes, it's probably a good thing to have long-term goals, but there's nothing like a few high-speed, low-effort beauty fixes. A trip to get my eyebrows threaded and minutes later I look as though I've had a face lift. Untrained brows can be terribly ageing. Tackling my feet, however, is my favourite, feel-good, minimum-effort-maximum-results treatment. Though a professional pedicure is a wonderful thing, you can make a huge difference to gnarly feet by yourself. The main reason the pedicure is my favourite treatment, however, is that it's the most selfish. Pretty feet are really for your own benefit. Who, but you, is going to admire pushed-back toe cuticles? What does it matter to the person sitting next you whether you have removed the hard skin on the soles of your feet?
On a foot-focus evenings, which I have every couple of weeks, I take The Body Shop Foot File and some elbow grease to my heels. Then I soak my feet in warm water and a couple of drops of Australian Bodycare Tea Tree Oil (refreshing and also good for keeping athlete's foot at bay) and some soothing lavender because I like the smell. After about half an episode of Ugly Betty, I dry my hooves and apply an exfoliant. Any will do but I like Dr Lewinns, which is actually for your hands so feels somehow illicit and luxurious.
After another rinse, I use clippers from Tweezerman (purveyors of the best nail tools in town) to cut my toenails straight, which is the best shape to prevent ingrowing. Leighton Denny's box-shaped nail buffer from Boots brings my toenails up to glassy perfection. By far my favourite part of Foot Focus Friday (it's usually on Friday) happens just before bedtime. I slather my feet in a moisturising face mask such as Aromatherapy Associates Hydrating Mask, pop on some socks (cashmere ideally if you want to keep if the Marie Antoinette-style indulgence of it all) and wake up the next day to some very happy feet.
Skincare expert Nicola Joss, who prepares Hollywood faces for red-carpet events, on fake tanning. "Exfoliation is essential for an even and long-lasting fake tan. Apply moisturiser to dry areas, such as knees, elbows, wrists, ankles, feet and hands as well as putting a little on eyebrows, nails and ears before applying your chosen tanning product. Personally, I like St Tropez. Only then are you ready to apply the lotion. Working quickly and using large strokes, make sure all areas are covered. Do not rub the product in because this will cause streaking. Shower the lotion off the next morning. Moisturise again and if you want to deepen the tan, apply a light covering of tanning mousse the next day. To make the tan fade evenly, exfoliate gently every two or three days."
John Galliano rose gold charm bracelet. This gorgeous statement bracelet contains a secret little stash of solid Galliano fragrance - a peppery, violet, romantic little number. Beauty Spy likes to wear this for a Big Night Out. (£79, www.harrods.com)