There was an old woman who bathed in a shoe
She had so many Blahniks, she didn't know what to do
So she built a big bathroom, with money to spare
And soaked in her SICIS tub with nary a care
What does one get the woman who has so many shoes she doesn't know what to do? Mr Big built Carrie a shoe closet; prospective Prince Charmings would be wise to consider this stiletto-shaped bathtub, which is custom-made and hand-decorated in various mosaic patterns at the SICIS factory in Ravenna, Italy. Alas, no matter how much I imagined what it would be like to soak in a foot full of bubbles while water cascades down from the heel above, nothing appeared in my tiny bathroom over Christmas.
It might be time to upsize, in all senses of the word. For the Audrey bathtub, you need to think big: a big bathroom, which usually means a big mansion, with a separate bathroom for the Man of the House, who is unlikely to want a shoe as its centrepiece; and, of course, a big wallet.
I might be an old woman before I ever bathe in this shoe, but if I curtail my spending on Manolo Blahniks this year, I can at least permit myself to try on the dream.
Audrey bathtub, starting at Dh115,000 depending on the design and size, SICIS The Art Mosaic Factory, Jumeirah 3, Villa No 12, corner of Umm al Sheif and Jumeirah Road, Dubai, 04 395 3835, www.sicis.com