This may sound a bit rich from somebody charged with filling a whole newspaper page on a Friday, but I am beginning to think there are few things that can't be said in 140 characters, or however many it takes to fill a Twitter comment.
Out goes all the extraneous, verbose, pretentious twaddle, leaving people to come to the point, fast.
Winston Churchill, Britain's Second World War prime minister, was famous for demanding memos of no more than a page in length. If I were prime minister I would insist that all communication should take place via Twitter, leaving long-winded morons tongue-tied and speechless. I could sit in Number 10 with my TweetDeck, keeping up with events almost quicker than they would happen. Plus there would be a real-time trace of all my work in office, so nobody could accuse me of a lack of transparency.
I am still amazed that there are some journalists not on Twitter. We have been helped by a series of spectacular events, ranging from the Arab Spring to "Hackgate". How much better, for example, would it have been if instead of being allowed to ask long, rambling questions of the Murdochs, the politicians of the select committee had been forced to keep them brief?
Twitter has been actually much more fun than the appearances of the Murdochs, Ms Brooks and the policemen on television, enlivened as it is by fictional characters such as RupertMurdochPR or Rebekah_thehack and ExNOTWjourno2, who may not be fictional, but is certainly anonymous.
I know I speak with the passion of a convert, for it is only in the past few weeks that I have started following Twitter, and tweeting.
I joined a couple of years ago, but really could not get excited about it. It was the purchase of an iPhone 4, plus the invention of TweetDeck, that made it suddenly fun and usable.
I may be a novice but I'm keen, so imagine my delight when I was sent a nifty tool called TweetLevel that is designed to discover how effective you are at using Twitter.
You put in your Twitter ID, wait 30 seconds, then you get the verdict. Mine was 43.3, suspiciously close to the answer to life, the universe and everything when proposed in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which as any fool knows, was 42.
It turns out that 43.3 is my influence, which is apparently not too bad. "You may not be CNN but you understand the importance of Twitter and use it well," TweetLevel says. Thank heavens for that. I always found CNN irritating enough, but now it has hired Piers Morgan it has become unwatchable because at any moment his smug face like a slapped rump appears on three screens.
But what I need to do is get more people to retweet my tweets. Sounds painful.
Next up is my popularity. "Your popularity score is OK - but can easily get better," I'm told. Gee, thanks. I need to post more comments at peak times, then I'll soon have thousands of followers.
Then engagement. I'm not sure what this is, which is probably why I score so badly. Must I show more empathy? I've got about as much empathy as Rupert Murdoch, and I don't think that's going to change.
Finally my trust score. "Your trust score is low because the content that you tweet is either not credible, interesting or newsworthy," says TweetLevel. I must say, it was kind of them to break it to me so gently.
What makes matters worse is that I was also sent a list of some of the most influential tweeters in the Middle East. Al Jazeera leads the pack, which seems fair, but at number nine is Tom Gara, a man who used to sit opposite me in The National office, and who declared more than a year ago: "Twitter is dead." Not only is Twitter alive and kicking, but he is soaring too. It's enough to make one livid.
Still, there are compensations. I checked my wife's rating. By a bizarre coincidence we got into it at about the same time. Her score was worse than mine, just 40.9, although there were similarities with my result. "You may not be CNN but you understand the importance of Twitter and use it well," TweetLevel told her. Couldn't they have come up with something different?
Then I checked my daughters and outranked them. Fortunately my 8-year-old son has not signed up for Twitter, he's too busy playing football, tennis and rugby. So, there it is, as official as one could hope for: at Villa 5, in the new Al Muhairy compound in Al Bateen, I am the most influential tweeter. My influence will only grow, and they will decline. As Gore Vidal could have tweeted: "It is not enough to succeed, others must fail."
Soon I'll be the most influential tweeter in my compound of 10 houses, and one day maybe, the length of Khaleej Al Arabi.