My National

My National

Careers, the Emirati husband repellent

  |  January 24, 2013

Choosing journalism as my career has proved not only stressful, but also husband-repelling.

Ever since I started this job, the people surrounding me – including my friends who I thought would understand – have been ‘worrying’ about my future husband.

In the past two months I have faced almost non-stop questioning about whether or not I have had any suitors.

My mother and aunt have made it very clear: a husband will not be forthcoming anytime soon, and even if he did he would probably run away after learning about my long working hours.

And if the hours didn’t scare him off, the need for me to interview so many people, including men, would be completely unacceptable.

The issue here is that people in my community expect me to marry a rich, naive husband and have him control me, my job and possibly my social life. But, to me, that is not an option.

I was raised by my father to be independent, and not to wait for others to give me orders or commands. My father taught me how to be who I am, and not to be changed by the people surrounding me or those who would try to pull me down. He showed me how to grow intellectually, and no man will be able to take that away from me.

While writing an article on marriage and divorce, one of my interviewees said she would change her career if the man she married objected to it.

She seemed intelligent enough, and has a bright future in politics ahead of her, so she must have a strong personality.

So I don’t understand why she would change her career rather than talk to her future husband, and find a solution that doesn’t require her to let go of her dreams.

The question is: Why does the woman have to be the one making all the sacrifices? Is it so hard for a man to accept women’s decisions?

Being a part of my community is great because we are constantly developing....yet it is also not so great, because despite this development, some of us are still stuck in the 1980s (or maybe even before that).

Hopefully, I will be able to survive such an environment.

aalkhoori@thenational.ae

"We know ourselves better, and we know what we would like to have in the future." Read Ayesha's response to the feedback from this article here.