"Just learned how to cut and paste! Just learned how to cut and paste! Just learned how to cut and paste!" Congratulations and welcome back, Conan O'Brien. You have been sorely missed. January 17.
"Prawn tempura black cod and spicy sushi for dinner tonight. amaaazing stuff. so full." But not too full, we hope, Andy Murray. Goodness knows we need you to be light on your feet for the first Grand Slam of 2011, the Australian Open. January 16.
"Elmo: Letter Joke: What starts with "E" and has only one letter in it? Give up? Envelope! Hahaha!" We never thought we'd live to see the day a red puppet with crazy eyes managed to outfox us. Well done, Sesame Street, well done. January 14.
"Prepping major "show and tell" for Creation Con in San Francisco March 12. Pics I've never shown before. See you there. LLAP" We found Spock on Twitter (well, Leonard Nimoy, to be exact). Fellow trekkies, remain calm. Does anyone know when the next flight to San Fran is? January 17.
"Back home in NYC. The night is young for me, man. I could go out all night. (or watch Bachelor on TiVo & go to bed)" We hear you, Jimmy Fallon. Although we can think of plenty of better (but still deliciously awful) reality-TV shows to watch instead. January 17.
"Fun tip: After complimenting someone, wait a beat and then yell, NOW YOU GO." Now, now, Sarah Silverman, you're meant to socialise with people, not scare them. January 14.
"BREAKING NEWS: Harvey Weinstein has just sent me the most lavish bouquet of congratulatory flowers ever. I hope his reward comes in Oscars." Piers Morgan is perhaps overestimating the power of his own beneficence as he takes to his Twitter account to promote his new show, Tonight With Piers Morgan. January 19.