It's a tough job but someone's got to do it. So who is going to step up and take over Simon Cowell's brutal role on American Idol when he leaves? He's due to go after the current series, showing in the US now. In its place, Cowell will be concentrating on launching The X-Factor across America. What's one more reality show, eh? Naturally, the rumour mill has gone into overdrive, with Noel Gallagher's name only the latest of several to be linked with the role.
"I know Noel quite well," Cowell said last week. "I like him. He is very funny and a brilliant songwriter - it's a possibility." But there are certain criteria for the job. "You've got to be good- looking," said Cowell modestly when he first announced his departure, "and you've got to know what you're talking about." Ah, right. Because there we were simply thinking that all Cowell did week after week was sit there with dollar signs dancing in his eyes and try to make the contestants cry.
The front-runner is Piers Morgan, simply because he's already a judge on yet another of Cowell's creations, Britain's Got Talent. And, presumably, the point that the man would probably stab his own grandmother if it advanced his interests. The same principle applies to another possibility - the blogger Perez Hilton. Other names being batted about include the American shock jock Howard Stern, Sean "Diddy" Combs, Ryan Seacrest and even Donny Osmond.
We never thought we'd say it, but stay SiCo, stay.