Achievements all around us, but family was the key

Hissa al Dhaheri

• Last Updated: November 02. 2009 1:15AM UAE / November 1. 2009 9:15PM GMT

When we speak of a man who was a leader, we can speak of his achievements, the opportunities he created, and the legacy he left behind. But when you speak of a man, you need to speak of the woman; what was done for the woman.

I could tell you about the Abu Dhabi Women’s Society, the first of its kind, established in 1972, just a year after the establishment of the nation; or the adult female literacy programme run by the Women’s Union that was established in 1975, just four years after the establishment of the nation – an organisation that later supported the partcipation of women in the Federal National Council; or about all the schools, colleges and universities open to both men and women.

But I don’t need to. All you have to do is look around you. These developments stand as a testament to who the person was, but at the end of the day it’s the personal that counts. The history books deal with Sheikh Zayed’s early life, his diplomacy and his achievements, but it was his relationships with his people, with his family and, more specifically, with the women in his family that define who he really was. And for a man of his generation, and of his region, those relationships were both enlightened and enlightening.

Sheikh Zayed had a particularly close relationship with his mother, who taught him that family always comes first. Indeed, sometimes she played the role of both mother and father, because he was around her most of the time he was growing up. He also had a close relationship with his elder sister, Sheikha Maryam bint Sultan Al Nahyan. Later he supported his wife Sheikha Fatima bint Mubarak’s modern initiatives to establish those societies and organisations I mentioned before. He was a husband, brother, father, grand- father and great-grandfather.

The women in his family always saw Sheikh Zayed on a more personal level, in a family environment, while the men saw him in both personal and official settings. They all remember him enjoying a good joke that would lighten up his day. He loved to see his granddaughters dressed in bright colours, because that would lighten up the mood.

He appreciated both beauty and laughter because they inspired happiness, and that was life to him. He was passionate and loving with his family, and although the demands of office meant that many might not have seen him as often as they would have wished, they remember how he used to address each one of them individually, giving them personal attention to make them feel special.

That affectionate personal relationship he had with his family transcended to the whole country, which is why we call him the Father of the Nation. The father-daughter relationship is known to be important for developing a woman’s self-confidence and self-worth. To many women he was that supportive father who had a positive influence that built the foundation of who we are today. He gave us hope, respect and equal opportunities.

Sheikh Zayed valued education highly, and encouraged the integration of women into the work force. As he said: “Islam affords women their rightful status, and encourages them to work in all sectors, as long as they are afforded appropriate respect.” Speak to any Emirati woman: we all feel that we want to give back to our society, that we owe it to the nation and, even more, to him.

I graduated from the university that bears Sheikh Zayed’s name, and now I teach there. This institution was built 10 years ago to meet the growing demand for women’s education. There was a need, and it was fulfilled. This spontaneity was the essence of Sheikh Zayed’s philosophy: whatever was needed was done.

Five years ago, shortly after he passed away, there was a memorial on the Zayed University campus. The auditorium was filled with women students who all referred to him as “Baba Zayed”. One of the young women sitting in the front row was visibly distraught with grief. She stood up and read a poem that she had written for him, which concluded:

Our independence is what he led us to achieve,

And he trusted it in our care.

Our duty, to strive, to hold up our nation

To prove to him, our father, that he brought us up well.

That student was Sheikh Zayed’s great-granddaughter.



Hissa al Dhaheri is a sociologist and cultural researcher